Friday, October 24, 2008

Diwali ki mithai

Why Indian Cricket is Improving?

We all should support Raj Thackeray

This is a wonderful mail circulating in favour of RAJ Thackerey have  a look

We all should support Raj Thackeray and take his initiative ahead by doing more...

1.        We should teach our kids that if he is second in class, don't study harder.. just beat up the student coming first and throw him out of the school

2.        Parliament should have only Delhiites as it is located in Delhi

3..        Prime-minister, president and all other leaders should only be from Delhi

4.        No Hindi movie should be made in Bombay. Only Marathi.

5.        At every state border, buses, trains, flights should be stopped and staff changed to local men

6.        All Maharashtrians working abroad or in other states should be sent back as they are SNATCHING employment from Locals

7.        Lord Shiv, Ganesha and Parvati should not be worshiped in our state as they belong to north (Himalayas)

8.        Visits to Taj Mahal should be restricted to people from UP only

9.        Relief for farmers in Maharashtra should not come from centre because that is the money collected as Tax from whole of India, so why should it be given to someone in

             Maharashtra?

10.        Let's support Kashmiri Militants because they are right in killing and injuring innocent people for the benefit of their state and community..

11.        Let's throw all MNCs out of Maharashtra, why should they earn from us? We will open our own Maharashtra Microsoft, MH Pepsi and MH Marutis of the world

12.        Let's stop using cellphones, emails, TV, foreign Movies and dramas. James Bond should speak Marathi

13.        We should be ready to die hungry or buy food at 10 times higher price but should not accept imports from other states

14.        We should not allow any industry to be setup in Maharashtra because all machinery comes from outside

15.        We should STOP using local trains... Trains are not manufactured by Marathi manoos and Railway Minister is a Bihari

16.        Ensure that all our children are born, grow, live and die without ever stepping out of Maharashtra, then they will become true Marathi's

JAI MAHARASHTRA!



Add more friends to your messenger and enjoy! Invite them now.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

AP - Elections

Wife 1.0

To Tech Support

Sub: Upgrade from a girlfriend to a wife

Dear Software Engineer,

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Smoking 10.3, Boozing 2.5 and Saturday Night Pubs 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications like Night Club 4.3, Dance 'n' Drunk 2.0 and Bachelor Party 7.77. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the UN-install Does not work on this program. Once I tried to uninstall Wife 1.0 but got this error "General protection Fault in module House Security. The UN-installation will abort." Can you help me, please!!!

Regards
Desperate User

-----------------------------------------------------
Reply from Tech. Support

Dear User,

Ref: Upgrade from a girlfriend to a wife

This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.

Wife 1.0 is actually an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to Run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to UN-install, delete, or purge Wife 1.0 from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system.
Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support" which was given to you at the time of registration with Wife 1.0. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\ APOLOGIZE. In fact I would suggest you use this command every time Wife 1.0 crashes on your system.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0 or Movies 4.5, which will improve the performance of Wife 1.0. Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

Navjot Singh Sidhu's Amazing Comments collection

1. There is light at the end of the tunnel for India, but it's that of an oncoming train which will run them over.
2. Experience is like a comb that life gives you when you are bald.

3. Kenya in South Africa was like a mountain having labor pains.
4. India looks like a crippled cobra whose fangs are clipped.
5. Wickets are like wives - you never know which way they will turn!
6. If ifs and buts were pots and pans, there would be no tinkers, my dear friend!
7. That ball went so high it could have got an air hostess down with it.
8. 'Statistics are like miniskirts, they reveal more than what they hide.
9. Sri Lankan score is running like an Indian taxi meter.

About Rahul Dravid.
10. He is like Indian three-wheeler which will suck a lot of diesel but cannot go beyond 30!
11. The Indians are going to beat the Kiwis! Let me tell you, my friend, that the Kiwi is the only bird in the whole world which does not have wings!
12. The gap between bat and pad is so much that I would have driven a car through it!
13. As uncomfortable as a bum on a porcupine.

14. The ball whizzes past like a bumble bee and the Indians are in the sea.
15. The Indians are finding the gaps like a pin in a haystack.
16. He is a dibbly dobbly bowler.

17. The pitch is as dead as a dodo.
18. Deep Dasgupta is as confused as a child is in a topless bar!
19. We are all Adam's children - it's just the skin that makes all the difference.
20. The way Indian wickets are falling reminds of the cycle stand at Rajendra Talkies in Patiala..one falls and everything else falls!
21. Its like the brooding hen sitting over a China egg.
22. Indian team without Sachin is like giving a Kiss without a Squeeze.
23. He is as wet as pennies in mud.

24. Even a cock crows over his own Dunghill.
25. Andy Flower is steady as the Rock of Gibraltar.
26. You cannot make Omelets without breaking the eggs.
27. I have seen many Ladies displaying different styles and Different styles displaying Ladies.
28. Deep Dasgupta is not a Wicket Keeper, he is a goal keeper. He must be given a free transfer to Manchester United.
29. When you are dining with a demon, you got to have a long spoon.
30. We'll take the cake with the red cherry on top.
31. He will fight a rattlesnake and give it the first two bites too.
32. One, who doesn't throw the dice, can never expect to score a six.
33. He is a wily fox. But, if we make the fox run, the chicken will become hen.
34. It is not all over till the fat lady sings!
35. A fallen lighthouse is more dangerous than a reef.
36. You cannot ride a seat-less bicycle without getting blisters on your bums.
37. Anybody can pilot a ship when the sea is calm.
38. A revolutionary idea is usually one with its sleeves rolled up.
39. Nobody travels on the road to success without a puncture or two.
40. You got to choose between tightening your belt or losing your pants.
41. The cat with gloves catches no mice.

42. If the heavens throw you dates, you got to keep your mouth open.
43. The Indian team is like the Doberman pincher, without a Tail, when they must be like German shepherds.
44. Age has been perfect fire extinguisher for flaming youth.
45. You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg.
46. When you have a hen laying eggs you should not mind the cackle.

47. He is like a one-legged man in a bum kicking competition.
48. The third umpires should be changed as often as nappies and for the same reason.
49. This quote was made after Ganguly called Dravid for a run and midway sent him back and Dravid was runout in the third test against the West Indies at Barbados.

“Ganguly has thrown a drowning man both ends of the rope."
50. This quote was made after Eddie Nichols, the third umpire, ruled Shivnarine Chanderpaul 'NOT OUT' in the second test at Port of Spain, T&T. "Eddie Nichols is a man who cannot find his own buttocks with his two hands. "
51. Geoffery, one word can describe India's batting only one word “Absolutely Pathetic"
52. Beware of the naked man who offers you his shirt.

Confession

GIRL: Forgive me father for I have sinned
PRIEST: What have you done my child


GIRL: I called a man a son of a bitch
PRIEST: Why did you call him a son of a bitch

GIRL: Caused he touched my hand
PRIEST: Like this, (as he touches her hand)

GIRL: Yes father.
PRIEST: That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch

GIRL: Then he touched my breast.
PRIEST: Like this, (as he touched her breast)

GIRL: Yes father
PRIEST: That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch

GIRL: Then he took off my clothes father like this, (as he takes off her clothes)

GIRL: Yes father
PRIEST: That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch

GIRL: Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where
PRIEST: Like this, (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)

GIRL: YES FATHER, OH.....YES FATHER, UMMMM...YES......YESFATHER
After a few minutes the priest said, that no reason to call him a son of a bitch

GIRL: But father he had AIDS
PRIEST: THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!

Engineers

**********************************
Comprehending Engineers - Take One
**********************************
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike.
She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." "The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

**********************************
Comprehending Engineers - Take Two
**********************************
to the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

************************************
Comprehending Engineers - Take Three
************************************
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him."

"Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"

***********************************
Comprehending Engineers - Take Five
***********************************
what is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.

**********************************
Comprehending Engineers - Take Six
**********************************
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

************************************
Comprehending Engineers - Take Seven
************************************
Normal people believe that if it isn’t broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that, if it isn’t broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

Johnny

1. Red and shiny the teacher, in an attempt to stimulate their minds, asked the class the following question,” What is bright red and shiny?”

Little Johnny jumped up and shouted "A fire engine!!!!???" No! No!" said the teacher, “But I like the way you think”. Anyone else?

Little Susan replied that it was an apple and everyone was happy except Johnny of course. Anyway, Little Johnny asked the teacher if he can ask a question to which she nodded OK. "What is long, hard, rounded and has hair at one end?" JOHNNY!!!" she screamed, "WE'LL HAVE NONE OF THAT TALK HERE."

Johnny replied, "No, it's a toothbrush, but I like the way you think"...

2. Confused Little johnny came home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that Johnny is having some difficulty with the differences between boys and girls , and would his mother ,"please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this ?"

So johnny's mother takes him by the hand , upstairs to her bedroom , and closes the door. "First , Johnny , you take off my blouse...." so he unbuttons her blouse and takes it off.. "Ok , now take off my skirt...." ..and he takes off her skirt.. "Now take off my bra...."...which he does.. "and now , Johnny , please take off my panties.."

...and when Johnny finishes removing those , she says…………

"Johnny , PLEASE don't wear any of my clothes to school again!"

3. Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question. "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?"

"None", replied Johnny "cause the rest would fly away."

"Well , the answer is 4", said the teacher , "but I like the way you are thinking ."

Little Johnny retaliated. "I have a question for you now.
If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one licking her cone, the second biting her cone, and the third one sucking her cone, which one is married?
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone?"
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger. But I like the way you are thinking."

4. Little Johnny greeted his mother at the door after she had been out of town all week and said, "Mommy, guess what? Yesterday , I was playing in the closet in your bedroom and Daddy came into the room with the lady from next door and they got undressed and they got into bed and then Daddy got on top of her and -" The mother held up her hand and said, "Not another word ! Wait until your father gets home and then I want you to tell him exactly what you've just told me."

Father comes home and the wife tells him that she's leaving him. "But why?" he croaks. "Go ahead, Johnny, tell Daddy just what you told me."

"Well," said little Johnny , "I was playing in your closet and Daddy came upstairs with the lady next door and they got undressed and they got into bed and Daddy got on top of her..." "...and they did just what you did last week, Mommy, with Uncle Bob".

5. One day the teacher came to class with a rose placed in her cleavage. She asked, "Can anyone tell me what roses drink? How about you, Johnny?

"Milk !" answered Little Johnny
"No , I'm sorry . That's the wrong answer. Roses drink water,"explained the teacher .

"Wow!" Johnny exclaimed. "I didn't know the stem was that long!"

6. Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father. "The teacher asked How much is 2x3? I said 6. "But that's right!"

"Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?

"What's the fucking difference ?"
"That's exactly what I said ."

7. Five years old Johnny and his little sister are peeping through a keyhole at their parents making love. "Wow, look at them! And we are not allowed even to stick a finger in our nose!"

8. Johnny and his father are observing a couple of dogs screwing each other ."Dad, what're the dogs doing ?" asks Johnny . "Well, the one below has relaxed and the one above has concentrated."

"Okay , I've understood ." "What've you understood!?" asks the father sarcastically .

"Never relax in your life , dad , or you'll get fucked like a dog

9. Johnny's parents were out of town once and so they asked that young female teacher to stay for that time in their house. Before going to bed Johnny says to her "Oh, please,
I'm so afraid to be by myself, please, sleep in my bed."

She agrees, they go to bed. In the morning she wakes up to find a big hairy chested man in her bed. She exclaims: "Johnny? Where is Johnny?!!!"

"Johnny? Who is Johnny? Is that the little boy selling the tickets?"

F#@k

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "fuck". It is the magical word which, just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate. In language , "fuck" falls into many Grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive Mary was Fucked by John).

It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), and adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck). It can also be used as an interjection (Fuck! I'm late for my date with Mary). It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is easy, fuck she's also stupid).

As you can see there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word fuck. Aside from its sexual connotations, this word can be used to
describe many situations:

Greetings........."How the fuck are ya?"
Fraud..............."I got fucked by the car dealer."
Resignation......."Oh, fuck it!"
Trouble............."I guess I'm fucked now."
Agression........."FUCK YOU!"
Disgust................"Fuck me."
Confusion............." What the fuck....?"
Displeasure............"Fucking shit man..."
Lost........................"where the fuck are we?"
Disbelief.................."UN FUCKING BELIEVABLE!!"
Retaliation............."Up your fucking ass!"
Apathy................."Who really gives a fuck?"
Suspicion............."Who the fuck are you?"
Directions.............."Fuck off."

It can be maternal........"MOTHER FUCKER!!"
It can be used to tell time......." It's four fucking twenty!"
It can be used as an anatomical description............."He's a fucking
asshole."

Lastly, it has been used by many notable people throughout history:

"What the fuck was that?" ~Mayor of Hiroshema~
"Thats not a real fucking gun." ~John Lennon~
"Where the fuck is all this water coming from?" ~Captain of the
Titanic~
"Who the fuck is gonna find out?" ~Richard Nixon~
"Heads are gonna fucking roll." ~Anne Boleyn~
"Any fucking idiot could answer that." ~Albert Einstein~
"It does so fucking look like her!" ~Picasso~
"You want what on the fucking celiling?" ~Michaelangelo~
"Fuck a duck." ~Walt Disney~
"Houston we Have a big fucking problem." ~the crew of Apollo 13~

Computers can Hit back?

Beware of the Bear

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

No Joke this ......

Picture Courtesy: www.isro.org

Congrats to all the Indians. A most awaited moment in the history of Indian Space Mission has just begun. Its not far when all the myths are broken and an Indian lands on Moon.

Kudos to ISRO and all its associates.

Monday, October 20, 2008

New Abbreviations!

SIP = SUICIDE by INVESTING PATIENTLY

NIFTY = NO INCOME FOR THIS YEAR

FII = FRAUDULANT INTERNATIONAL INVESTOR

PE = PLUNGE ENDLESS

Investment Plans.... Jara Hatke :)

Investment Ideas!

If you purchased Rs1,00,000 of Delta Airlines stock 1 year ago, you would have Rs 4,900 today.

If you purchased Rs1,00,000 of AIG stock 1 year ago, you would have Rs 3,300 today.

If you purchased Rs1,00,000of Lehman Brothers stock 1 year ago, you would have Rs 0.0 today.

But, if you purchased Rs1,00,000 worth of beer 1 year ago, drank all the beer, returned the aluminum cans for a recycling refund, you would have Rs. 21,400!!!

Think Smart!!

Friday, October 17, 2008

Have you observed?

Lunch menu of Coconut Groove at Food Court2, Infosys Pune


SEE THE SWEET

Thursday, October 16, 2008

All Fun

1 ) Long back, a person who sacrificed his sleep, forgot his family, forgot his food, Forgot laughter were called
"Saints"
But now they are called.. " IT professionals "


2 ) An interesting line written at the back of a Biker's T Shirt:
"If you are able to see this, please tell me that my girlfriend has fallen off"



3. ) Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..
Love is always present.. Its just that,
One loves too much, And
the other loves too many,


4. ) Employee:
Boss, Now I have got married..! Please increase my salary..!
BOSS:
Factory is not responsible for accidents occurring outside the company..!

5. ) Philosophy of life
At the beginning of married life, every gal treats her husband as
GOD ,
Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..!

6. ) What is a Fear?
Fear is the Deep, Wrenching feeling in your stomach
When pages of your book still smell new and Just few hours left for your exams...!

7. ) Useful
Someone has rightly said, "A fool can ask More questions that a wise man cannot answer"
No Wonder why so many of us speechless when lecturers ask question..!

8.) Girl:
Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?
Shopkeeper:
Oh sure..@! How about this card, it says "To the only boy I ever loved.!"
Girl:
That's good, Give me 12 of them..!

9) After reading the form filled by an applicant.. The employer said: " WE do have an... opening for you...! "
Applicant:
What is it?
Interviewer:
Its called the "door..!"

10) A Banner cum Sign Board In front of an IT company..
Drive Slowly, Don't kill our Employee ... Leave them to us

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

And That's When the Fight Started

I heard my wife crying in the bathroom. "Honey? What's wrong" I asked.

"Oh, George! Just look at me: I'm getting so old! I have more gray in my hair than blonde, I have varicose veins on both of my legs, and I'm just fat and wrinkled all over! I really need someone to say something positive about me right now!"

I looked deeply into her eyes and said softly: "Your vision's real good, honey. That's something, isn't it?"

And that's when the fight started....

Nice Quote

What worries me most about the credit crunch is that if one of my cheque is returned stamped "insufficient funds", I won't know whether that refers to mine or the banks'.

The concept of Bankruptcy

Once there was a little island country. The land of this country was the tiny island itself. The total money in circulation was 2 dollars as there were only two pieces of 1 dollar coins circulating around.

1) There were 3 citizens living on this island country. A owned the land. B and C each owned 1 dollar.

2) B decided to purchase the land from A for 1 dollar. So, now A and C own 1 dollar each while B owned a piece of land that is worth 1 dollar.

* The net asset of the country now = 3 dollars.

3) Now C thought that since there is only one piece of land in the country, and land is non producible asset, its value must definitely go up. So, he borrowed 1 dollar from A, and together with his own 1 dollar, he bought the land from B for 2 dollars.

*A has a loan to C of 1 dollar, so his net asset is 1 dollar.

* B sold his land and got 2 dollars, so his net asset is 2 dollars.

* C owned the piece of land worth 2 dollars but with his 1 dollar debt to A, his net residual asset is 1 dollar.

* Thus, the net asset of the country = 4 dollars.

4) A saw that the land he once owned has risen in value. He regretted having sold it. Luckily, he has a 1 dollar loan to C. He then borrowed 2 dollars from B and acquired the land back from C for 3 dollars. The payment is by 2 dollars cash (which he borrowed) and cancellation of the 1 dollar loan to C. As a result, A now owned a piece of land that is worth 3 dollars. But since he owed B 2 dollars, his net asset is 1 dollar.

* B loaned 2 dollars to A. So his net asset is 2 dollars.

* C now has the 2 coins. His net asset is also 2 dollars.

* The net asset of the country = 5 dollars. A bubble is building up.

(5) B saw that the value of land kept rising. He also wanted to own the land. So he bought the land from A for 4 dollars. The payment is by borrowing 2 dollars from C, and cancellation of his 2 dollars loan to A.

* As a result, A has got his debt cleared and he got the 2 coins. His net asset is 2 dollars.

* B owned a piece of land that is worth 4 dollars, but since he has a debt of 2 dollars with C, his net Asset is 2 dollars.

* C loaned 2 dollars to B, so his net asset is 2 dollars.

* The net asset of the country = 6 dollars; even though, the country has only one piece of land and 2 Dollars in circulation.

(6) Everybody has made money and everybody felt happy and prosperous.

(7) One day an evil wind blew, and an evil thought came to C's mind. "Hey, what if the land price stop going up, how could B repay my loan. There is only 2 dollars in circulation, and, I think after all the land that B owns is worth at most only 1 dollar, and no more."

(8) A also thought the same way.

(9) Nobody wanted to buy land anymore.

* So, in the end, A owns the 2 dollar coins, his net asset is 2 dollars.

* B owed C 2 dollars and the land he owned which he thought worth 4 dollars is now 1 dollar. So his net asset is only 1 dollar.

* C has a loan of 2 dollars to B. But it is a bad debt. Although his net asset is still 2 dollars, his Heart is palpitating.

* The net asset of the country = 3 dollars again.

(10) So, who has stolen the 3 dollars from the country ? Of course, before the bubble burst B thought his land was worth 4 dollars. Actually, right before the collapse, the net asset of the country was 6 dollars on paper. B's net asset is still 2 dollars, his heart is palpitating.

(11) B had no choice but to declare bankruptcy. C as to relinquish his 2 dollars bad debt to B, but in return he acquired the land which is worth 1 dollar now.

* A owns the 2 coins, his net asset is 2 dollars.

* B is bankrupt, his net asset is 0 dollar. ( he lost everything )

* C got no choice but end up with a land worth only 1 dollar

* The net asset of the country = 3 dollars.

************End of the story; BUT ************

There is however a redistribution of wealth.

A is the winner, B is the loser, C is lucky that he is spared.

A few points worth noting:

(1) When a bubble is building up, the debt of individuals to one another in a country is also building up.

(2) This story of the island is a closed system whereby there is no other country and hence no foreign debt. The worth of the asset can only be calculated using the island's own currency. Hence, there is no net loss.

(3) An over-damped system is assumed when the bubble burst, meaning the land's value did not go down to below 1 dollar.

(4) When the bubble burst, the fellow with cash is the winner. The fellows having the land or extending loan to others are the losers. The asset could shrink or in worst case, they go bankrupt.

(5) If there is another citizen D either holding a dollar or another piece of land but refrains from taking part in the game, he will neither win nor lose. But he will see the value of his money or land goes up and down like a see saw.

(6) When the bubble was in the growing phase, everybody made money.

(7) If you are smart and know that you are living in a growing bubble, it is worthwhile to borrow money (like A ) and take part in the game. But you must know when you should change everything back to cash.

(8) As in the case of land, the above phenomenon applies to stocks as well.

(9) The actual worth of land or stocks depend largely on psychology.

Common man suffering!!!

As a daily habit Pintu was reading newspaper.
Suddenly he asked his father, " Dad! What does it mean by 'Governance System' ? "

" Its Like...", father said while thinking, " See! I earn and bring money to home, mean's I am a 'Money Holder'. Your mother decides where and how to spend that money and that means she is 'Government'. That maid in our home is doing all the household works, so she will be 'Labour Class'. You are a 'Common man' or 'Public'. Your kid brother is 'Future' or the 'Next Generation', understand?".

That day Pintu slept with all those thoughts. In the middle of the night he woke-up because his kid brother was crying. He wetted the mattresses so he was crying. Pintu went to wake-up his mother. She was in deep sleep so Pintu went to the Maiden's room to wake her up. But there his father was sleeping with the maid. So he came back with frustration.

Next morning father asked Pintu, " Hey Pintu Darling! You understood the 'Governance System'? ".

Pintu replied, " Yeah Dad, I understood! When money Holder is exploiting Labour Class, our Government is sleeping. Future of our nation is crying for not getting their basic needs fulfilled and in all this Common Man is suffering!"

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Cross Breeding

Ramdev's AD

Classic reads ……..
Reply Appreciated all over
A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?


I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I am 25 this year. I am very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York. My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden (?), $250k annual income is not enough.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches is only average looking? I have met a few girls who don't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (My target now is to get married)

Ms. Pretty


Awesome reply:


Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyze your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here. From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain. Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money": Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position".. If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term – same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased". Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in "leasing" services, do contact me…

signed,
J.P. Morgan

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