Why Women Cry - Watch her eyes

Nice one For all of you to Know!!

"A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman , " she told him.

"I don't understand , " he said. His Mom just hugged him and said , "And you never will."

Later the little boy asked his father ,"Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"

"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man , still wondering why women cry...

Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone , he asked , "God , why do women cry so easily?"

God said,

 

"When I made the woman she had to be special.

I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.

I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up , and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances , even when her child has hurt her very badly.

I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife , but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

And finally , I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."

"You see my son , " said God , "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears , the figure that she carries , or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes , because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

Interesting Facts about Human Body

Scientists say the higher your I.Q. The more you dream.

The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the smallest is the male sperm.

You use 200 muscles to take one step.

The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man.

Your big toes have two bones each while the rest have three.

A pair of human feet contains 250,000 sweat glands.

A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball.

The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razor blades.

The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as the Encyclopedia Britannica.

It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

The average human dream lasts 2-3 seconds.

Men without hair on their chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair.

At the moment of conception, you spent about half an hour as a single cell.

There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

Your body gives off enough heat in 30 minutes to bring half a gallon of water to a boil.

The enamel in your teeth is the hardest substance in your body.

Your teeth start growing 6 months before you are born.

When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate, and they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate.

Your thumb is the same length of your nose.

At this very moment I know well you are putting this last fact to the test.

Riddles - Part II

1. I am lighter than a feather, yet no man can hold me for very long. What am I?
2. Three guys run into a bar, the fourth man ducks. Why does he duck?
3. All of the animals go to a meeting for the Lion King. One animal doesn't show up. Which animal doesn’t come?
4. You come to a river that alligators live in. There is no boat, raft, bridge, nor material to make them. How do you get across?
5. A fifteen foot rope is tied to a horse. The horse is 25 feet from a stack of hay. How can the horse get to the hay?
6. From what number can you take half and leave nothing?
7. How can you drop an egg 3 feet without breaking it?
8. How can you make a fire with only one stick?
9. How can you tell the difference between a can of chicken soup and a can of tomato soup?
10. Can giraffes have babies?
11. What has four wheels and flies?
12. Feed me and I live, give me something to drink and I’ll die. What am I?
13. What has eyes but cannot see?
14. When is a door not a door?

The answers are right here

____________________________________________

1. Breath
2. He didn’t want to hit the bar
3. The elephant, he’s in the refrigerator
4. Jump in, swim accross, get out. The aligators are at the meeting
5. The rope isn’t tied to anything but the horse
6. Take the top half away and the “o” is left
7. Drop it 4 feet, the first 3 feet the egg won’t hit anything
8. Make sure it’s a matchstick
9. Read the label
10. No, they have giraffes
11. A dumpster
12. Fire
13. A needle, a potato, a storm, or true lovers
14. When it’s ajar

Riddles - Part I

1. What is as big as you are and yet does not weigh anything?
2. Two cannibals were chatting as they had their dinner. One complained that he really quite disliked his new mother-in-law. What was the advice given to him by his companion?
3. Paul’s height is six feet, he’s an assistant at a butcher’s shop, and wears size 9 shoes. What does he weigh?
4. What types of words are these: Madam, civic, eye, level?
5. What ends everything always?
6. When you have me, you feel like sharing me. But, if you do share me, you don’t have me. What am I?
7. A cowboy rode into town on Friday, stayed three days, and rode out again on Friday. How did he do that?
8. The person who makes it has no need for it. The person who purchases it does not use it. The person who does use it does not know he or she is. What is it?
9. It is an insect, and the first part of its name is the name of another insect. What is it?
10. 2 fathers and 2 sons go fishing. Each of them catches one fish. So why do they bring home only 3 fishes?
11. Which is the longest word in English?
12. You can hold it without using your hands or arms. What is it?
13. What do the letter‘t’ and an island have in common?
14. Which is the word in English that has nine letters, and remains a word at each step even when you remove one letter from it, right up to a single letter remaining? List each letter as you remove them, along with the resulting word at each step.
15. Complete this sequence of letters: o, t, t, f, f, s, s, _, _, _. 

Answers are right here :-)

1. Your shadow.
2. So just finish your vegetables.
3. Meat.
4. They are palindromes; they read the same both ways.
5. The alphabet ‘g’.
6. A secret.
7. His horse’s name is Friday.
8. A coffin.
9. Beetle.
10. Because the fishing group comprises of a grandfather, his son, and his son’s son – hence just three people.
11. Smiles - Because a ‘mile’ exists between the two S’s. While that is a good answer to the riddle, the actual longest English word is 'floccinaucinihilipilification'- which means'to describe something as worthless, or turning something into being worthless by deprecating it.'
12. Your breath.
13. Both are in water - WaTer.
14. ‘Startling’ is the word. Begin by removing ‘i’, which makes it ‘staring’, then take away the ‘t’, making it ‘staring’, and so on – string; sing; sin; in; and, I.
15. e, n, t – The first letter of the numbers from one to ten.

Tongue Twisters

Just try out this; at least read each paragraph 3 times, will u able to do it ?

Betty bought butter but the butter was bitter, so Betty bought better butter to make the bitter butter better.

A sailor went to sea To see, what he could see. And all he could see Was sea, sea, sea.

A box of mixed biscuits, a mixed biscuit box.

Upper roller lower roller Upper roller lower roller.
Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People

If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?

SIXTH SICK SHEIK'S SIXTH SICK SHEEP

Which watch did which witch wear and which witch wore which watch?

Six slippery snails, slid slowly seaward.

I thought a thought. But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought.

If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.

Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to a fellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What a fellow means?"

How much wood could a wood chuck; chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!

Paresh P Patel plans to peel potatoes in Pune

An Ape hates grape cakes.

Friendly Fleas and Fire Flies

If you notice this notice, you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, FuzzyWuzzy wasn't very fuzzy... was he???

How many cans can a canner can, if a canner can can cans?  A canner can can as many cans as a canner can, if a canner can can cans.

How much wood could a wood chopper chop, if a wood chopper could chop wood?

If a black bug bleeds black blood, what color blood does a blue bug bleed?

If Freaky Fred Found Fifty Feet of Fruit and Fed Forty Feet to his Friend Frank how many Feet of Fruit did Freaky Fred Find?

Penny's pretty pink piggy bank

"When a doctor falls ill another doctor doctor's the doctor. Does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor's way"

A tutor who tooted the flute, tried to tutor two tooters to toot. Said the two to the tutor, 'Is it harder to toot or to tutor two tooters to toot?'

One smart fellow, he felt smart. Two smart fellows, they felt smart. Three smart fellows, they all felt smart.

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
if Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, wheres the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

Black bug's blood.

Crisp crusts crackle and crunch.

It's not the cough that carries you off, it's the coffin they carry you off in!

Tie a knot, tie a knot.
Tie a tight, tight knot.
Tie a knot in the shape of a nought.

Freshly-fried fat flying fish

Rubber baby-buggy bumpers.

Jolly juggling jesters jauntily juggled jingling jacks.

Kindly kittens knitting mittens keep kazooing in the king's kitchen.

Billy Button bought a buttered biscuit,
did Billy Button buy a buttered biscuit?
If Billy Button bought a buttered biscuit,
Where's the buttered biscuit Billy Button bought ??

A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.
How is u r tongue now ???????????????????????

Hate Racism

A white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The black man stood up and said:

"Listen sir....when I was born I was BLACK "

"When I grew up I was BLACK, "

"When I'm sick I'm BLACK, "

"When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, "

"When I'm cold I'm BLACK, "

"When I die I'll be BLACK."

"But you sir."

"When you are born you're PINK ".

"When you grow up you're WHITE, "

"When you're sick, you're GREEN, "

"When you go in the sun you turn RED, "

"When you're cold you turn BLUE, "

"And when you die you turn PURPLE.

"And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away.

Self Appraisal

Good One - A BEAUTIFUL STORY

A little boy went to a Telephone booth which was at the cash counter of a store & dialed a number.
The store-Owner observed and listened to the  Conversation:

Boy: "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?
Woman: (at the other end of the phone line) "I  already have someone to cut my lawn."
 

Boy: "Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price than the person who cuts your lawn now."
Woman: I'm very satisfied with the person who is  presently cutting my lawn.
 

Boy: (with more perseverance) "Lady, I'll even sweep the floor & the stairs of your house for free.
Woman: No, thank you.
 

With a smile on his face, the little  boy end call with thank you.

The Store-owner, who was listening to all this,  walked over to the boy.

Store Owner: "Son...I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit & would like to offer you a job."
Boy: "No thanks,
 

Store Owner:  But you were really pleading for one.
Boy: No Sir, I was just  checking my performance at the job I already have. I am the one who is  working for that lady I was talking to!"

This is called "Self  Appraisal".

Reason why never visit a 5* Hotel

Reason why never visit a 5* Hotel

Question : "What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?"
Answer: "tea please" 

Question : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea ?"
Answer : "Ceylon tea "

Question : "How would you like it ? black or white ?"
Answer: "white"

Question: "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ?"
Answer: "With milk "

Question: "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk"
Answer: "With cow milk please.

Question: " Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?"
Answer: " Um, I'll take it black. "

Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"
Answer: "With sugar"

Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar ?"
Answer: "Cane sugar "

Question:" White , brown or yellow sugar ?"
Answer: "Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead."

Question: "Mineral water or still water ? "
Answer: "Mineral water"

Question: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"
Answer: "I'll rather die of thirst

Super Riddle

This is Good!


A riddle for you to keep awake. Eighty percent of Kindergarteners solved this riddle, but only 5% of Stanford graduates figured it out!

Can you answer the following questions in one word? (Hint: Fill in the blanks (...) )

1. The word has seven letters ....
2. Preceded God ...
3. Greater than God ...
4. More Evil than the devil ...
5. All poor people have it ...
6. Wealthy people need it ....
7. If you eat it, you will die.

Did you figure it out?




Try hard before looking at the answers




Did you get it yet?








Give up?




Brace yourself for the answer....


The Answer is:



"NOTHING!"
NOTHING has 7 letters.
NOTHING preceded God.
NOTHING is greater than God.
NOTHING is more Evil than the devil.
All poor people have NOTHING.
Wealthy people need NOTHING.
If you eat NOTHING, you will die.

Gr8 Answers

Teacher :"What is your name?".
Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."


Teacher:"When I ask a question in English, answer it in english."
Student:"My name is Sunlight.


Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student:Gandhi ji was born.


Teacher :What happened in 1873?
Student:Gandhiji was four years old. 


Question:What is the fullform of maths.
Answer: Mentally affected teachers harassing students.


Teacher : Now children , if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing ?
Student : BROTHERLY LOVE (teacher's brother = donkey!!)


Teacher :Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student:A holiday 


Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend it.
Raju:No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.


Teacher :Why?
Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so far!!! 


Teacher:"Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence? "
Johnny:"Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time." 


Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny:As old as I am.


Teacher:How is it possible?
Sunny:He became father only after I was born. (1st Rank)

Nobody Could :-)

A 65 year old man went for sperm count. The doctor gave a bottle to collect sperm. Next day the man returned with that bottle empty and told that he tried that he tried with his left hand and then his right. Then his wife tried with her left hand and right.

Then his maid tried with her left hand and her right and also with her mouth. Then his neighbor tried the same way.

But ......................................

......................................
......................................
......................................
......................................
......................................
......................................
......................................
......................................

OPEN THE BOTTLE.

May god bless your corrupted mind.

3 Easy Ways To Die ............

... And the third one elaborated

1.    Take a Cigar daily - You will die 10 years early.

2.    Drink Rum daily - You will die 30 years early.

3.    Love someone truly - You will die daily.

Explanation:
1. A foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.

2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption:
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY

3. Three FASTEST means of Communication:
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman

If you Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE .


4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.

5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman. Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC


6. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest. They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we should KILL him. Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path. Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.


7. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.

8. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.

9. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.

10. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY twice. Because as per Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake

Achi soch aur buri soch

Sardar's wife: Itni raat ho gayi par ye abhi tak nahi aaye, jarur lakdi ki chakkar he hogi

Sardar's Mother: Hameesha bura hi sochegi? Kya pata kisi truck ke niche aagaya hoga!

Traffic Suraksha Week - Hindi

Police wale ne car wale ko roka - Ye suraklhsa week hai ... Aap belt pehen kar car chala rahe ho, isliye aapko Rs.5000 ka eenam diya jata hai.Aaap is eenam ka kya karoge?

Car Driver: Mein is eenam se apna driving license banwalunga :-)

Pichli seat par baithi hui uski maa boli -- Iski baat ka yakin mat karao. Ye sharab pi kar kuch bhi bolta hai :-)

Uske papa neend se jage aur police ko dekh ke bola -- mujhe pata tha ki chori ki car mein hum zyada dur nahi ja payenge

Tabhi dikki se aawaaz ayi ... Bhai humne border paar kar liya kya?

Why teachers go crazy

Ever thought, why the teacher(s) go crazy on students :-)

No wonder teachers go "crazy" with children...


TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."


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TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!

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TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile"?
JOHN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!

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TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

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TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!

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TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WILLY: Me!

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TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

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SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.

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TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
JOSE: Don't bite any.

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TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

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Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand."

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Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?

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Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
Kirk : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.

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At a church school gathering, one little old lady approached a cute
5-year-old girl and asked her where she got her good looks. "I musta got 'em from my Daddy," said the little girl, "'cause Mommy's still got hers."

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Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

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Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Pupil : A teacher.!

The world is upside down

 

Jokes Of Mr. Bean :)

1) BRAIN TUMOR:

Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)
Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?
Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?

Doctor: Then why are you so happy?
Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!


2) MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL:

Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bean: 9

Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!


3) WHILE IN A DRUG STORE:

Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!


4) AT AN ATM MACHINE:

Friend: What are you looking at?
Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.

Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Mr. Bean: four asterisks (****)!


5) Marriage:

Friend: How many women do you believe must a man marry?
Mr. Bean: 16

Friend: Why?
Mr. Bean: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4worse.


6) CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND:

Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it Ok?
Mr. Bean: What do you mean ok, I thought it's a horror film. I didn't see any picture.

Friend: What tape did you take anyway?
Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner..


7)DEATH OF HIS MOTHER:
Mr. Bean:(crying) the doctor called, Mom's dead.
Friend: condolence, my friend.

(After 2 minutes) Mr. Bean cries even louder
Friend: what now?

Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!


8) MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING:

Colleague: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs because of a power failure.
Mr. Bean: That's alright, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.


9) Spelling lesson:

Mr. Bean's Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful.. ..is it one c or two c?
Mr. Bean: Make it three c to be sure!