Do not try these at home

Arab Student To his Dad...!!

Dear Dad

Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari 599GTB when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.

Your son,

Nasser

The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad:

My dear loving son

Twenty million US Dollar has just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too.

Rajnikanth's punch dialogue in Endhiran

Rajnikanth's punch dialogue in the upcoming 120 crore film Endhiran

“Buddy… if i beat you, even Google won’t be able to find you”

Google is working on it to fix this bug…. 

Installing Husband ... the vice versa of Wife 2.0

This seems to be a worldwide problem !! INSTALLING HUSBAND!!!

A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 andCRICKET 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed
------------------------------------------------------

Reply

DEAR Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.Html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1.

Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Good Looks 7.7.

Good Luck Madam!

Your Boss, You & Your Target

Suggestion from Narada

If your lover sends you romantic messages don't be very happy.

However think who is sending those messages to your lover?

My job is over; Narayana ... Narayana

Terrible English by PT Sir

There is no wind in the ball.

I talk, he talk, why you middle talk?

You rotate via ground four times.

You go and understand the tree.

I will give you clap.

Bring your parents with your mother and father.

Haircut not cut???

All of you stand in a straight circle.

Rare Photo: A snake found near Kukke Subrahmanya with 5 heads

Life really boils down to 2 questions

1. Should I get a dog.....?



OR....

2. Should I have children?


No matter what situations life throws at you...

No matter how long and treacherous your journey may seem..

Remember there is a light at the end of the tunnel.




You're laughing aren't you?
That's good 'cause my job here is done!


& the last pic really brought a smile on my face hope it does to u too !

A solution to every problem

Best Camouflages

SMS Joke of the Day

Beggar 1: I had the best dinner in a 5 star yesterday night

Beggar 2: How???

Beggar 1: A man gave me 100 bucks. I went to the Taj and ordered food worth 5000, drank to my heart's content. When bill came I said I do not have any money. They called the police. He took me outside and I gave him that 100 and he set me free. 

Courtroom Humor

Lawyers should never ask grandmas a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.  In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the witness stand.

He approached her and asked; "Mrs.. Jones, do you know me?"
 

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you're a big disappointment to me. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.

Yes, I know you."
 

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs.. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

 
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women.
  

One of them was your wife. Yes I know him."
 

The defense attorney almost died.
 

The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench and in a quiet voice said: "If either of you rascals asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."

When Opportunity knocks.... Don’t loose it

A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands their money. Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

The man replied, "Yes sir, I did." The robber then shot him in the temper, killing him instantly.

He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

The man replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!”

When Opportunity knocks.... Don’t loose it…